Sunday, 25 October 2015

Strange currencies

My 5yo likes sweets and popcorn but she is less of a fan of cake and chocolate. She likes the idea of confectionary but usually only has a piece or two of candy and then saves the rest 'for later'... (and so I end up with opened packets of sweets taking up space in the kitchen cupboard).

So, we have suggested to her that she should either save up her pocket money or think of other things to spend it on. We've tried to explain that spending money on sweets that you don't eat is a waste (but she has difficulty comprehending us: "But I like sweets!" she says).

The trouble is, there are few non-candy things that she can buy with her pocket money on a weekly basis. Even so-called pocket-money-toys are quite pricey and would require her to save for at least a couple of weeks. So, I've compiled a list of consumable treats that would, for her, make a suitable alternative to a packet of sweets.

1) Stickers
2) Colouring pens / pencils
3) Hair accessories
4) Stationery items (erasers, pencil sharpeners, pencils, tiny notebooks)
5) Beads / buttons

My husband offered to double whatever she could save up over the course of the last term at school. She was lucky to have had a headstart by being given £5 by one of her grandparents over the summer holiday. By the time half term started last week, she had increased her savings to £10. My husband duly doubled it and another grandparent gave her an extra £10. So, off she went to ToysRUs and bought herself a My Little Pony Rainbow Castle, which she hasn't stopped playing with.

I praised her for saving up her pocket money so diligently and asked what we would do with her pocket money in future. "Save it up!" she said.

Let's see if she does!

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

I want you to remember

October is Baby Loss Awareness month. Next week is Baby Loss Awareness week. October 15th will see another Wave of Light ripple around the world. I will light my candle and post a photo.

At the end of this month, we will mark the anniversary of the day we realised that something might be wrong with our second pregnancy; followed by the anniversary of the date we found out that our baby had died; followed by the anniversary of the date that our son was stillborn.

Nearly three years have passed since we lost Monty. I wouldn't say that time has healed us but that we have got used to living with loss. I no longer wear bereavement like an open wound; it has been woven into the fabric of the 'new me', the person I have become since losing my son. I am forever changed and will live the rest of my life as a bereaved parent.

I have two beautiful daughters and they bring me immense joy. Yet, there is a gap between them. Not just an age gap but a sibling gap - the space where their brother should be. A space where he will always exist (or, at least, be remembered).

I want my son to be remembered. By his family, by our friends and by the people that we meet and with whom we share his story. He was real and he existed (albeit briefly and only inside me).

I want you to remember: Monty Turton (stillborn) 3 November 2012