Monty is my second child. He was stillborn in November 2012, when I was 34 weeks pregnant.
I'd had a relatively easy, low-risk pregnancy; I was fit and (for the most part) healthy. I felt tired a lot of the time but just put that down to general pregnancy-related tiredness compounded by running around after a two-year-old. It wasn't until I attended a routine midwife appointment that I realised that things weren't quite right. The following day, a scan at the hospital showed no heartbeat. Two days later, Monty was born still.
I wrote the post Goodbye Before Hello to explain what happened.
Monty died from congenital CMV infection. CMV (human cytomegalovirus) is a virus that is carried by many people and causes almost no symptoms in adults. However, in developing babies it can cause miscarriage or stillbirth and lead to neonatal death. There is no antenatal test for it, there is no vaccine and there is no cure.
I started writing this blog to capture my transition from mother-of-one to mother-of-two. I never imagined it would become a journal of my bereavement journey.
I want something positive to come out of my loss, so I write about how stillbirth has affected my family, including the impact on my daughter (who was looking forward to becoming a big sister), and how we have rebuilt our lives. I hope that some of my writing will be helpful or informative to others, that it will raise awareness of baby loss, and that Monty will be remembered as our son. I have written guest posts for the HICTHY blog and raised funds for Bristol SANDS and Mums the Word to say thank you to those who have helped us.
To read more about my experience of stillbirth and bereavement, click on the 'stillbirth', 'bereavement' and 'remembrance' labels in the right-hand column of the blog.