I feel deeply indebted to so many people who have been there for us over the past few months but I will never be able to write enough cards or buy enough gifts to return all the kindnesses extended to us. This is my attempt to express my gratitude:
To all the nurses, doctors and hospital staff at Southmead, thank you for treating us so tenderly and compassionately. Thank you for your advice, sympathy and kind words. Thank you for the medication that took away some of the physical pain. Thank you for giving us time together. Thank you for giving us time with our baby after he was born. Thank you for a positive birth experience that we can treasure.
To the community midwives, health visitor, my GP and the physiotherapist, thank you all for your help on my road to recovery.
To the Registrar, thank you for registering my son as a real person and for giving me a copy of his stillbirth certificate. I know this is your job but you validated my son's existence and I am grateful.
To the medical examiner and research lab staff, thank you for looking after my son with respectful care. Thank you for investigating thoroughly and finding an answer. Please use the results to try to prevent this happening to another family.
To the chaplains, thank you for not trying to calm me in the throes of my grief. Thank you for making arrangements and explaining processes. Thank you for putting us in control of the funeral service and for allowing visitations at the chapel of rest. Thank you for recording Monty in the hospital's book of remembrance.
To our family, thank you for your love and support. Thank you for rallying round, for feeding us, and for looking after our daughter. Thank you for listening, crying and smiling. Thank you for visiting our son in the chapel of rest and for keeping photographs of him.
To my mother, thank you for being there at Monty's birth. I'm sorry that the only grandchild whose birth you have witnessed was stillborn. Thank you for washing and dressing him and for helping the midwife to take handprints and footprints and a few locks of his hair for us to keep. Thank you for helping to write the order of service for Monty's funeral. Thank you for doing things I could not.
To our extended circle of friends, thank you for the cards, letters, texts, gifts and flowers. Thank you for the phone calls. Thank you for all the cups of tea, the cake, the playdates. Thank you for being here and for listening and talking. Thank you for sharing your stories with me.
To everyone who donated money to the Mum's the Word appeal in Monty's memory. Together, we have raised over £700 (plus gift aid) and we have a balloon dedicated to Monty on the fundraising wall.
To all participants of the Festival of Light, thank you for lighting candles and lanterns in memory of our son on his due date. It was a special night. One that I will remember forever.
To the people whose names I don't know but who see us each week at toddler groups, thank you for your sympathy. To you, I am 'the lady whose baby died', I can see that in your eyes but I thank you for not avoiding me and for not asking questions. To the one lady who gave me her phone number and an offer of coffee, thank you.
To colleagues, thank you for the flowers and cards. Thank you for offering support. Thank you for not putting pressure on us to return to work.
To the Government, advisors and policy-makers, thank you for providing maternity leave and statutory pay to enable me to take the time I need to recover from my son's stillbirth.
To SANDS, I am grateful to the people who established you, although I wish there was no need for you to exist. Thank you for empathy and good advice. To the Bristol SANDS Bereavement Support Group, thank you for listening and understanding.
To my husband, thank you for everything. Thank you for the gift of Monty and for helping me deliver him. Thank you for taking beautiful photographs of him for us to treasure. Thank you for holding me tight and for sharing and wiping away my tears. Thank you for all your support, for being strong, for keeping me grounded. Thank you for loving me. I love you too.
To my daughter, thank you for lighting up my life. I love you so much.
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