No-one congratulated me on the birth of my son.
The room was quiet. "Let me look after this little angel for you" the midwife said, as she cut the cord.
I had delivered him on my knees. I gripped the bed rail and caught my breath. I felt relieved that the labour was over but sad that my baby was no longer a part of me and would soon no longer be with me.
***
The next day, the midwife said she was in awe of me.
I didn't feel awesome.
At home, a few days later, the community midwife told me I didn't have to be so brave.
I didn't feel brave.
I felt numb.
********
Grief changes shape, but it never ends
(Keanu Reeves)
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